Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Since I'm up...

Well, since I'm up at 1am, I might as well blog a little. Sorry for the typos in advance, as I am typing one handed, without my glasses at 1 am.

So why one handed? I'm holding a half awake baby in my left arm.

Why sans glasses? I left those in my bedroom, there is a "taxman" trying to sleep in there. And you just don't wake a sleeping taxman at 1 am in the month of March if you can possibly avoid it.

Why 1 am? I think it may be because I had caffeine. No, I didn't have caffeine just before bed so I'm wide awake. I had some caffeine about 12 hours ago, its effects on my synapses have long worn off, so the bed looks wonderful. But for some reason when I put more than 25 mg of caffeine in my body it turns poor babygirl into a screaming gassy insomniac.

I just wanted a little extra energy for the cleaning spree I did today. I figured her digestive tract has matured, surely she could tolerate a little. She always sleeps through the night. (This said in a pitiful whiney voice) Will I ever learn.

Normally I'm a cry it out momma. I am rarely holding my child at 1 am. But I have chosen not to be a scream it out writhing in pain momma. Especially as I feel the guilt of inflicting it on my poor child. She seems to do better if I hold her upright, except that she is burping and passing gas like a bunch of Jr Hi boys on a campout.

Ahhhhhhh... finally she is asleep. Time for both of us to go back to bed. Maybe she last longer than 45 minutes this time. (This is the fourth time she has been up) Funny 20 minutes ago it was torturous, watching her discomfort, listening to her scream. Now its a rare treat, her little face snuggled to my chest, kissing her fuzzy little head. What is more precious than a sleeping baby? Part of me could sit here for hours studying her precious face and hands. But another part of me just yawned. And tomorrow this snuggly little one will want to play and eat and have her diaper changed. She needs a momma to be able to be responsible to care for her and be awake.... without any caffeine!

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Cloth diapers, and organic ketchup..., not together. The organic ketchup is in my fridge. The cloth diapers are on babygirl's bottom. But it is somewhat of a marvel to me that both are in my home at all.

I have never considered myself an environmentalist, a hippie, or particularly "crunchy" (a term I have just recently found). I have always considered myself to be a practical, common sense, indpendent type. It never really occurred to me before that the same result can come from two different points of view.

A few years ago my brother and sister-in-law announced they were eating organic. We love them so we humored them. They are kind considerate people, so they aren't pushy about it when they visit. And they live a few hundred miles away so we don't eat together too often anyway. But, living in the middle of corn and soybean country, saying "organic" often includes an eyeroll or snicker. Well, now organic has entered my cupboard and refridgerator. And yes I do occasionally snicker and roll my eyes at myself. To be honest I don't really care that it is "organic." I am really just trying to avoid all the high fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated oils that are in prepared foods. And although I've gone natural and homemade for many things, I really haven't had the opportunity to make my own ketchup or barbeque sauce. So organic ketchup and BBQ sauce it is. And when the price is congruent, I've started to "go organic" on other things too, guess a few less pesticides isn't a bad thing.

Funny thing is, when my sister-in-law was visiting I began to explain my new strategy to cut the junk out of our food. Her reply, "That's why we started eating organic. Back then you couldn't find hardly anything natural unless it was organic." So I will make it official, Chrissy you were way ahead, I beg forgiveness for every rotating iris, and covered mouth chuckle. It is amazing what you learn when you adjust your point of view.

So that brings me to babygirl's bottom. Which I must say looks so much cuter in her colorful Thirsties diaper covers and Bumgenius 3.o's. I certainly don't miss the orange and green Whinnie the Pooh cartoons. But, ummm... I didn't choose cloth for all the great "crunchy" feel good reasons. Sure it is nice to have less garbage, to have more natural materials against her skin. But mostly it is a great money saver and I have honestly found it to be more convenient. However, I am quickly becoming a cloth diaper advocate. They are really fun, really easy, and even less smelly than disposables. But, I laugh as I wonder how I would have reacted to myself a few years ago. I am sure that as I listened to the wonders of cloth, I would have been rolling my eyes and snickering about that too. It is amazing how different things sound with a change in point of view.

Ten years ago, as new bride, I would have not just snickered but laughed heartily at the suggestion of organic ketchup and cloth diapers being in my home. I think me at 23 would think me at 33 was a little off her rocker. I guess I never expected to really grow and change as much as I have. And, its not just in my point of view about the "crunchy" things. I hope me at 23 would have humored me and loved me anyway, because she might just have learned what an adjusted point of view could do. Actually, I guess she did. And maybe I'll stop rolling my eyes so much, because well... who knows what I'll be like at 43 =)