It is not about me...or more on Ephesians

I've been reading the first chapter of Ephesians and trying to really have it sink in. The first 14 verses have really hit me with a theme... It is not about me!

Paul even starts out by pointing out that it isn't about him. In verse one he states he is an apostle "by the will of God" Then verse by verse he shows us how it is not about us.

In verse 3 we find we already have every spiritual blessing.

In verse 4 we find He chose us before creation began.

In verse 5 we find it is His pleasure and will that motivates our predestination.

In verse 6 we find He has given us his grace freely.

In verse 7 we find our redemption and forgiveness correlates to His riches of grace.

None of this has anything to do with what I have done or will do. None of it has anything to do with my talents or potential. It isn't about who I am or can be, it is about what He wants to do with me. But there is more...

In verse 9 we find we now know the mystery of His will.

In verse 10 we find His will is to bring all things together under one head.

In verse 11 we find we are chosen according to his plan and purpose.

In verse 12 we find we He has done this for the praise of His glory.

In verse 13 & 14 we find we are marked and His possession again for the praise of His glory.

None of this has anything to do with my plans. He didn't choose me for my benefit. It is not about what I want or need, it is about what He wants to with my life.

My first thought was how wonderful. A feeling of freedom filled me. But my immediate second thought was "Oh, it really isn't about me." I read this passage and realize that I so often live like it is about me; "God, I want to do this so please help me," or "God I don't like this please take it away." In a way it made me feel like I'm not really that important. I mean God could do without me. Isn't that bad for my self-esteem?

But that is where that freedom comes in. God could "do without me" but he chose to "do with me." How cool is that? My talents and potential aren't critical to His success. I am free to just be what He makes me. My plan may fly out the window, but God's plan is the one that will have success. My failures may just be exactly the achievement God is going for.

If I can only remember this I could eliminate much of the worry and fretting from my life. Growing up in public schools in the 70's, and 80's they spent a lot of time telling us that we were "free to be whatever we wanted to be, and free to do whatever we wanted to do." I think a lot of us were let down when we discovered that in reality our plans often don't work.

But I want to remember that I'm truly free. Free to be what He makes me and go where He leads me.

Living Dangerously

What are the terms? Boundaries, balance, American Academy of Pediatrics reccommendations... So many choices how to guide my life decisions, and our decisions for babygirl.

Facing fear seems to be a topic God is working on with me recently.

My first big scary thing, putting babygirl to bed at night in her crib. Thats where the AAP comes in. She isn't six month yet, officially it is safer for her to sleep in our room. But, our room is small. She is too big for the basinet, and 2 out of the 3 of us sleep much better with her in her own room. The 1 out of 3 is me. All my life I've struggled with fear at night, when I wasn't in control. As a child at night I was afraid of fire, storms, robbers... now I get to add the fear of my child ceasing to breath, besides the danger of fire, storms, and burglers who might now decide to become kidknappers. It was so much easier to cacoon the three of us in our room. Where I could see her from my bed, could grab her in a second if necessary. When I wake up at 3am feeling the need to make sure she is OK, God has been teaching me to trust Him. His eyes see more clearly. His hands are faster and stronger than mine.

So He is setting me up for challenge number 2. There are people out there. People who need Him. People who I hear Him calling me to care for. There is a family who I already love but I'm not sure I can trust. These are real people, who really need God. But they could be dangerous. My mind works, It is not just me to consider. I have an innocent little one. What if because of them something would happen to baby girl? Shouldn't I protect her keep her safe. I ask these questions, but my heart calls out God's answer. He is able to protect her, keep her safe. But he desires to use us, including babygirl, to make others safe for eternity. God's call is to live sacrificially, to visit the prisoners, the sick, people who are dangerous.

As I ponder these things, yesterday God added another layer. I may be contemplating the danger of crib suffocation, or loving people with difficult histories. But I am sure very few Northern IL students were pondering the dangers of attending geology class, yet that was the most dangerous day in there life. It often takes tragedy to teach the true meaning of protection. It is not in the caccoon that we can try to build around ourselves and our children's lives, but in the safety of our souls held securely in God's hands. For neither death nor life... nor anything else in creation can separate us from the love of God that is in Jesus Christ our Lord! {Romans 8:38,39}